Thursday, August 4, 2011
Lately I've wondered if I will ever become a mother. When analyzing this I am not being cynical rather I am genuinely considering the possibility that this may be the direction my life takes. Road blocks have seemingly been the name of the game on the journey to adoption. And while I haven't totally given up on the process I also would like to come to a point where I am just as happy and fulfilled with not having a child.
I have thrown myself into my career. I work three very creative jobs that keep me busy and I couldn't love them more. Maybe this is what I am meant to do. What if I am not meant to parent a baby? What if my life is supposed to be enjoyed with my hubby and dogs as my immediate family members? Could the events of the past few years be Gods way of pointing me in a different direction? With all these questions floating around in my head I find myself praying for clarity. I believe a greater since of peace must be in store for me...I'm just not sure when or how it will come about.