Thursday, May 2, 2013

Embracing the Stages of Friendship

I am a very loyal friend. I am also not the type of person to have a lot of casual friends...I tend to be more of the type who enjoys a few closer bonds. That being said, even within these tight friendships there are different stages and a definite ebb and flow. Being a sensitive person I used to view the way some friendship naturally change over time as a flaw or a negative. Now, as I grow older (or grow up) I have found that embracing the ever changing process of the human personality is much easier and constructive than being sad over a friendship that has lost its zing.

I think it is only natural for most of us to view the changing of a relationship as a possibly bad thing. But does it have to be? Of course not! Here is an example...

I have a friend that I made in college. I call her a kindred spirit because we just clicked. She is an individual I will always treasure because our friendship was a genuine and supportive one. However our relationship has changed tremendously over the years. We  rarely see one another anymore as we live in different cities, and we keep in touch but we don't share as deep of a bond as we once did. Does that mean we love one another any less? No! It just means that our families and careers have taken us in opposite directions. We will always cherish and remember the time when our friendship was in it's prime, God had our paths cross during those years for a reason. She was a true blessing in my life and I am thankful to know such a wonderful person! Our relationship had it's season and rather than being sad that its growth period is over, I am thankful that we experienced it.

This more positive outlook has taken me awhile to grasp. I spent a lot of time trying my best to revive the friendship to the level that it used to be, and I know she did too! But the reality is that despite our best efforts we were forcing a season of tight knit friendship to continue that had simply passed. There is no need to fight the direction God has for your life and your relationships. Go with the flow and embrace the change! Learn from the experiences and be thankful. I realize that it is much easier said than done, but over time I have been able to adapt this outlook and it has helped my attitude greatly.

Do you have a relationship that has transformed over the years? Was it hard for you to embrace this change?


Anonymous said...

I've always been stuck in bad friendships, but through the years, a few new ones have emerged. I always used to feel like the changes were negative too, but of course, that is not the case, just the priorities of life have changed, not the love!

Anonymous said...

It really sucked when I lost friends after my divorce. Some of them were his friends since childhood so I guess I understand that he got custody of them. But the others, my friends, just eventually drifted away. Double whammy of hurt, thats what that was! I guess the saying is true, hard times will always reveal true friends!

Evelyn Osborn said...

Have you joined Lets Get Social Sunday this morning??? If not, lotsa new friends and followers are waiting on you. See Ya There!

@ My Turn for us