How many times do you allow a loved one to hurt you? I suppose it is easier the first few times, when your heart is still strong and hopeful. But slowly you start to break down with the re-occurring hurt.
My sisters have caused me great pain, and that is a difficult thing for me to admit, even on my blog. I've tried to be there for them but I'm continuously the one they use and abuse...the one that shouldn't have feelings. Sister "B" is multiplicative towards me and sister "N" is oblivious.
The bridal shower invite was the straw that broke the camels back. I've been left out of a lot of the pre-wedding planning but this seemed like too much. I received the bridal shower invitation, which is being held in my home. And the hostess were listed as "B" and "N's" sister-in-law. No where on the invite am I even mentioned, just my home address is listed.
I'm not sure why it was this incident that made my heart shatter. As I said, there have been other things similar to this that have happened for years. But this is honestly the last straw for me. I need to start looking out for my own well being.
My sisters are my blood and I will always love them. But maybe we aren't meant to all be close friends. I think it is time for me to just be the bigger person and step away. My therapist agrees, I have tried to change the dynamic between we sisters for too long. It is a cycle that keeps repeating itself and in the end I am left to feel like shit. That is not right. It is time for a change, and I am ready to make it.