My mind is so very preoccupied right now. I can barely believe it.
Even though my blog is now set to private it is still a little scary for me to publish this post...but I need the therapeutic release of writing. So here goes!
On Thursday night we got a call from our social worker who said we were in the running to be picked by a birth mother. Apparently it is a teenage girl who is very committed to placement. She comes from a Christian family and is located about 20 minutes from the town we live in. She has narrowed down her options and on Tuesday she will look at our portfolio along with 2 others. She will then make her decision. Our social worker said we will have news no later then Wednesday.
I can't get her out of my head. From the second I heard about her I couldn't shake the feeling that this is our girl. My heart is so completely engulfed with care and concerned for her. I wonder if she is doing alright with the scrutiny of being a pregnant teenager. I wonder if she is scared. I wonder if she thinks of us the way we are thinking of her. I pray that she has comfort in this time of uncertainty. I just want to give her a hug and let her know that she will be OK. I want to let her know that her decision to give birth to her baby is courageous and the ultimate gift.
But only time will tell if I am ever able to share any of these things with her.
I pray that she will pick us but more then that I pray that she is happy with whatever choice she makes. I pray for her future as well as our own...whatever that may entail.
And I wait.
Sleepless nights do to a racing mind are inevitable.
Wednesday, please come quickly.
9 comments:
that is really scary. I hope that her parents are supporting her rather than scrutinizing her. It has to be tough being the parents of that daughter, I can imagine the disappointment. But like you said, she needs comfort, support and needs to feel like she is doing the right thing.
I hope you hear from your agent soon. Would this be an open or closed adoption. Being that she is close, I think it may be a good thing for her and the child to be able to see their birth mother (when the time comes). But of course, that is just one opinion. It is yours and the birth mother's decision on what you do and I'm sure it'll be the best one.
Good luck to you!!!
We are doing an open adoption. We 100% believe it is better for the child. I will keep you updated with what happens....I am on pins & needles right now!!
WOW!!! I am defiantly thinking and praying for you today! Good for you for believing in open adoption.
Oh this is exciting and scary! I totally get that! You are so in my prayers.
AHHHHH!!! I am so nervous just reading this. Please tell us as soon as you get word!
Needless to say I had a VERY restless night. No word yet, but I'll keep you posted.
Wow, I am filled with nerves just reading this! I hope you are holding up ok. I hope that you get word soon! I'll say a prayer!
I'm so excited for you, yet nervous for you at the same time. We were in your place 19 years ago for the first time. We since adopted 5 more. It all seems surreal. Time seems to be suspended and yet so fast at the same time. If this is to be your child there is nothing that can stop it, nothing at all. My hopes and prayers are with you and for all of your questions and desires to be answered. Much love and many prayers,
Teri
excited for you... ***fingers crossed & praying***
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