My mind is so very preoccupied right now. I can barely believe it.
Even though my blog is now set to private it is still a little scary for me to publish this post...but I need the therapeutic release of writing. So here goes!
On Thursday night we got a call from our social worker who said we were in the running to be picked by a birth mother. Apparently it is a teenage girl who is very committed to placement. She comes from a Christian family and is located about 20 minutes from the town we live in. She has narrowed down her options and on Tuesday she will look at our portfolio along with 2 others. She will then make her decision. Our social worker said we will have news no later then Wednesday.
I can't get her out of my head. From the second I heard about her I couldn't shake the feeling that this is our girl. My heart is so completely engulfed with care and concerned for her. I wonder if she is doing alright with the scrutiny of being a pregnant teenager. I wonder if she is scared. I wonder if she thinks of us the way we are thinking of her. I pray that she has comfort in this time of uncertainty. I just want to give her a hug and let her know that she will be OK. I want to let her know that her decision to give birth to her baby is courageous and the ultimate gift.
But only time will tell if I am ever able to share any of these things with her.
I pray that she will pick us but more then that I pray that she is happy with whatever choice she makes. I pray for her future as well as our own...whatever that may entail.
And I wait.
Sleepless nights do to a racing mind are inevitable.
Wednesday, please come quickly.